Dungeons & Dragons


Lord Danbell
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No dungeons or Dragons

The douche-bag band of adventurers returned to the city, after having completed their quest.

They received their reward from the mayor, and then talked to the guard who promised more information on the mysterious dagger from the bartender's story.

The adventurers learned the dagger had at least something to do with the folks who were killed at the beginning of the story, and decided to get some rest before buying the dagger outright from the guard.

The next morning, the group found the guard lying in a pool of his own blood. Orist, the de facto leader of the crew decided to mercy kill him on the spot, and looted a dagger, and a tome that told of a millenia-old cult of tribefolk who were tasked with keeping a transdimensional demon portal closed.

after reading about this, our adventurers decided to bury the body. They threatened a young boy who saw them carrying a body out of town, but who cares about him.

halfway through burial, the sky to the north started to cloud, and an eerie red hue started to spread throughout the sky.

Ignoring this completely, the group ventured back into town, where they tried to sell their loot to the local general store clerk. The clerk, upon hearing about the reddening sky, denied the party any trade, and kicked them out to the curb.

The party then decided this was the perfect time for a drink, so headed back to the fugly pumpkin for a beer.

Upon finding the bar completely deserted (save for all of the townsfolk, who have locked themselves in the cellar, and barred the door), our beloved heroes began to loot the cash register, and pilfer the top shelf of liquor. The level-headed cleric, in all his saintly wisdom, then decided to start smashing the liquor, in his own vain attempt to show his discontent with the situation. The party then decided just to leave, with only one bottle of high end dwarven whiskey (as well as all the cash register's gold) for their troubles.

The party then decided to go investigate the red sky.

upon venturing out into a clearing, they discover the mayor studying an ever growing red portal. Mike, the halfling bard, thought it wise to sneak up and sling a rock at him. halfway through his sneak attempt, the mayor notices, and suddenly morphs into a grotesque alien-like creature known as a doppleganger.

The party then annihilated the doppleganger. Really fast. And the DM was peeved by this.

The portal continued to grow, so the party, after consulting the tome, figured out that they had to kill a chaotically aligned creature in order to sate the blade's hunger to return home (which is where the chaos portal led)

Orist, having been the bearer of the blade, tried stabbing the dead mayor. *Nothing interesting happens*

Orist then tried stabbing brynjolf in the heart, and missed. Brynjolf wasn't happy.

Orist then tried cutting his own wrist. he succeeded in cutting his wrist.

The party then figured that instead of closing the portal, they could open a new one and flee through there.

so they did.

they then found themselves in a portal room. In weighing their options, they inadvertently discovered a hidden portal, and activated it with the dagger, and went through.

Once through the portal, the group found the dagger lying on the ground in front of them, visibly inert.

Inspecting their surroundings very briefly, they discovered a very barren... inhospitable landscape.

But at least they get to level up now.

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In our last episode:

Brynjolf was somehow sucked into the dagger, and appears to be unresponsive. The party is under the impression that this is a convenient DM mechanism to keep Brynjolf in stasis until Tuba can return, and they are right.

the party decided to head towards a really scary looking mountain range, that has crags shaped like giant rib bones reaching towards the sky...

They happened upon a scantily clad half-human-half-devil woman who was under attack. They saved her, and little Mike goaded her into playing Sacagawea for the party on their way to the mountains.

They got to the gate town of Spinehollow, which essentially looks like the ribcage of an enormous creature, that has been walled off and colonized.

The party made a beeline for the trader, who (other than offering normal trade) offered the party a really cheap "bag of holing". The party discovered that this bag of holding was cheap for a reason, as it has a small hole in the bottom (which in the D&D world means it's broke).

Orist threatens the shopkeeper, who then informs the party that they can simply have it "sewn right back up".

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Is everyone happy with the game length and things?

Recap:

After taking some time to shop for all the latest trends in adventuring and battle, the party decided to do more shopping. the party met a terrifying tiger like humanoid creature, who agreed to patch up the bag of holing the party had peddled last episode. Also Brynjolf reappeared randomly. The scary shopkeeper guy was incredibly powerful and intimidating, but the party didn't seem to mind.

our party then decided to go scope the local mercenary district for potential questing opportunities. Along the way, they discovered a "public wasting" execution, as well as a set of Talion Laws scrolled on giant stone monoliths.

Once at a watering hole within the mercenary district, the party decided to put on a musical show, in which mike played a rousing rendition of "flight of the bumblebee". This netted them a nice quest in which they were to slay a soul eating death dog called a barghest. They'd have likely been better off finding a job that someone offered a prize for, but not our adventurers, no.

The group then decided to call it a night, and got two bedrooms at the local four seasons lodge. There they found an abandoned bag full of some adventurer's equipment, of which much still remains unidentified. After looting the bags contents with little regard for the laws just learned from the day before, the party made way for the town exit to seek out the barghest. Once outside the town, the adventurers found themselves being attacked by a duo of lowly, yet formidable Tannar'ri demons called dretch. To borrow a term: Flawless Victory.

After mopping the floor with the dretch, the party made their way to the barghest den.

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I'll try and talk her into it, she is mostly a lurker.

Also I always get the impression during and after the games that we have blundered straight past whatever cool quests you have devised, and your sitting there going....."just ask about the chest in the corner!!!!!"

On the plus side, we do seem to have mad killing stuff skills. I have also decided that my goal in this game is going to be to tie my two great swords together by the handle to have a darth maul style double ended sword, and then probably stab myself in the leg.

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That is one of the interesting things about being a DM. You devise all these cool things and sometimes we find them, and sometimes we don't. Some DMs try and force the story to the players, railroading them along. What G01d has done is what really good DMs do. He can always act as the "voice of God" or w/e deity you may/may not follow, like he has done, to give us some interesting information.

Lengthwise for me, I've always felt you need to have sessions of at least 2 hours. Given our geographic distances as well as our real life commitments this becomes altogether more difficult, but we've been doing well. Sometimes sessions go longer, sometimes they go shorter. While I would personally say make the sessions longer, I am satisfied with the time we've been putting forward, especially now that we've been doing it about every week.

Also, I am confirming my availability to play this coming weekend.

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